I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
