I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
