need another drink. this is the easiest way
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize