is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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