Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
