I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
4 words: hood of his car
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Randomize
