i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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