That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
