I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize