My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
