Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
tell me about the eggs
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