I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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