Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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