PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
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I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
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Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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