She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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