I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
So many bounce houses so little time
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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