you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
