Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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