look no pants
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
