tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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