Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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