Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
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