Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
