apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
