Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
