next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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