I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
