I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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