I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
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during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
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i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Randomize