I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize