My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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