Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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