On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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