I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
