You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
