dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Randomize
