Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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