You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
