Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
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