I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
