But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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