I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
