I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
