How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
