i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
