Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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