i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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