this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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