Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize