Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Randomize
