even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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