I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
