Porn is love you can see.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize