We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize