I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize