dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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