So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
